This should set you Gilliam fans alight, the first full trailer for his upcoming The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Or, as the majority of mainstream film-goers will call it, Heath Ledger’s Last Movie.
Though Ledger died during shooting of the film, actors Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp signed on to play the same main character Tony. How you ask? Apparently as this character travels through different dream worlds, he is represented by different people. This really isn’t a surprising revelation, it is Terry Gilliam we’re talking about, the unique mind behind such twisted gems like Brazil, 12 Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. If the trailer is any indication, Imaginarium looks to be par for Gilliams surealist-whimsical style.
I haven’t read a synopsis for this one that isn’t a page long, but in short there’s an immortal imagination seller, a deal with the devil, a race to marry and redemption and fate and love and all that wonderful stuff. The film boasts a pretty big cast including Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp, Christopher Plummer, Peter Stormaire and Tom Waits as the devil himself.
Tom Waits! As the Devil!
The film hits theaters on December 25 of this year.
Before this film was released, we all scoffed at the idea of a GI Joe film. Then the first trailer came out and we had pretty much written it off already, eyes rolling, groaning loudly. I’ll admit that I myself had the absolute lowest expectations for this film. Although Paramount decided not to screen GI Joe: Rise of Cobra to critics and news outlets prior to its release, there were a select bunch that managed to see the flick a little early. When those reviews came out, we read with one eye open, as if peering through the window as you drove by a horrific car-wreck. But that wasn’t the case. In one of the biggest film review “double takes”, a fair amount of popular, trusted online writers actually dug the film.
I just came home from seeing the film myself, and I can’t recall a film in which I’ve left the theater feeling this much deceit. Deception in the sense that I was almost certain that the film would be a laughable, steaming mess of horse shit, but it wasn’t. I can’t believe that I’m writing this, but on the whole I dug the movie. It’s most certainly not without its flaws, nor is technically sound, smart or by any sense great, but GI Joe can be a fun, well-paced action film if you are a member of the exact target audience it is aimed for. It’s one of the few films I’d consider calling entertaining and dumb in the same sentence.
Before you call me a hypocrite in reference to my ‘Rated S for Stupid’ article, let me explain myself. There are bad movies; films that are created without any thought or technical quality. Then there are good movies; films that are crafted with wonderful storytelling and talent and passion. There’s also good-bad movies in which a film is so unintentionally bad (or on occasion intentional) that they become great, this applies to films like Troll 2, Evil Dead or Jaws: The Revenge. Then there is this weird grey area comprised of films that aren’t necessarily poorly made, but aren’t groundbreaking works of art. They are silly, they are dumb and they split the audience like Moses. The very few of these movies will be debated from now until a nanomite warhead destroys our cities. Gi Joe: Rise of Cobra fits right into this category that’s both defend-able and attack-able at the same time. It’s not about what the film is, it’s about who you are. If you are a boy aged 6-16 you will love it. If you grew up playing with the action figures, watching the cartoon or reading the comic book, you will love it. If you are big on silly, over-the-top, family-oriented action, than the chances are you will love this film.
While I wasn’t big into the cartoon or the comics as a kid, I did spend countless hours with the toys, staging my own battles and rescues on the couch, in the tub and in the yard. I give kudos to the makers of the film for doing just that with real life actors, vehicles and sets. Where Transformers failed to emulate the excitement of playing with robot toys, GI Joe was successful in re-enacting the excessive action that we imagined when we were kids with over-active imaginations. Unlike my brain at eight years old though, Stephen Sommers has managed to streamline that attention deficit into a fairly linear two-hours.
As for the film’s story, it’s not rocket-science, but there are plenty of rockets. James McCullen (shortly before becoming the silver-headed Destro), the man behind MARS, the world’s leading weapons manufacturer, sells four nanomite-laden warheads to NATO (nanomites are those nasty green-cloud effel tower destroying things you saw in the trailers). US army soldiers Duke and Ripcord are assigned to transport the warheads but their mission goes straight to the shitter when they’re ambushed by Baroness and Stormshadow. The bad guys run off and Duke and Ripcord are rescued and recruited by the GI Joe team. A few more action scenes later and the bad guys (not yet Cobra) obtain the warheads and set out to fuck up the earths day. But not if the Joes have anything to say about it.
It’s a pretty straight-forward and simple story but the film is well-paced enough to keep you going. The film bounces around from huge set-piece to set-piece and action sequence and you get the sense that you are in this defined reality that’s not quite real. GI Joe knows what it is,and though it comes dangerously close, doesn’t over-step its boundaries.
Devoted GI Joe fans will most likely not be disappointed with the exception of some visual discrepancies from the source material. There are plenty of little nods to the cartoon here and there, but if you are not in the know then you might not notice – like they say, knowing is half the battle. The characters are pulled off quite well with Baroness, Snake Eyes and Stormshadow no doubt giving fans what they want. Cobra Commander (who doesn’t quite become “cobra” nor “commander” until the very end of the film) looks nothing like his iconic visual presence, but for what he lacks in visual nostalgia he makes up with in voice and dialogue. This character is a real-life comic book villain, his lines equally over the top as they are smile inducing. Although the Cobra Commander voice isn’t quite the same as we hear in our heads (”Coooobbbbrraaaaa!”), it’s so perfectly Snidley Whiplash in delivery. I suspect many die-hards to be displeased with the the costume design – there is no hood or helmet in this one folks. The rest of the cast is slightly more than passable, and for the most part fit their characters well. Do prepare yourself for the occasional cringe-worthy line of dialogue though, and like most PG-13 action films, the comedy is almost never funny. Unless you’re the mid-thirty year old guy sitting next to me who hollered, hacked and clapped at every contrived remark. But hey, if you’re going to do action based on toys, you are bound to have some rat feces in there.
The real star of this film is the same as when we were kids: the vehicles and the guns. This is where GI Joe really nails it. The vehicle design is pretty awesome. GI Joe planes and automobiles were so cool because they were like real ones, but amped up with crazy guns and angles and plates and prongs. That’s exactly what you get in the movie. The planes, specifically the night-raven jet, looks like it came straight out of the Hasbro packaging. The film does a pretty good job at making rocket sleds, jet packs and hover planes fit unflinchingly into its universe. It also embraces some cool in-the-works military technology like personal cloaking suits. All of this is great fodder for decently shot action scenes (much better than recent action fare like Transformers 2 or Live Free Die Hard), the only crutch here being the occasional near wince inducing CGI. Nothing takes me out of an involved scene than a poorly rendered ship.
I really am quite bewildered to be able to write all that. I would’ve put my life savings on GI Joe making Transformers 2 look like American Beauty. At the end of the day you may hate GI Joe, and I can’t say I totally blame you for it. Much like Speed Racer, you will either hate it or you will like it, but it knows what it is and doesn’t apologize for what it isn’t. It’s Stephen Sommers’ most effective film to date in the sense that it has nailed exactly what it intends to do and where it came from. Don’t get too happy though Mr. Sommers, we still haven’t forgotten the absolute mess that was Van Helsing.
If I were eight years old as of writing this, my three favorite films would be Speed Racer, Transformers and GI Joe: Rise of Cobra.
Ahoy, consumers. It’s Tuesday so you know what that means – new release day. This week is kind of all over the place, but there’s one big release, featuring a certain emerald-clad guardian, that I’m looking forward to and will review soon.
Here’s the notable releases for Tuesday, July 28th, and remember, any purchases made via Amazon through the links on this page will save a person’s life. Or at least line my pockets and give me more drive to keep the content coming… you cheap bastards.
- The aptly-titled fourth film in the highly-successful brought back the original cast for another testosterone-filled, two hour rap music video in which Paul Walker talks in a voice that’s actually lower than his natural speaking tone. If you like suped-up cars and ridiculous cliches then you’ll love this one.
- The wildly successful reimagining of Battlestar Galactica gets the full-series treatment on Blu-Ray. This 25 disc set will put you back at least $200 and features every season of the show, the original mini-series and the Razor feature. All that in a super cool Cylon package.
- Yes, some folks made a Dragonball movie. Yes, apparently it licks donkey dink. No, I won’t be buying it. No, you probably shouldn’t. Save your money for a full-print button-up Dragonball shirt.
- Now this is the title of the week, DC’s new full-length feature telling the origin of Green Lantern Hal Jordan. DC is on a roll with these animated films, I tell ya. Reviews so far have been really positive for this particular title, and I myself can’t wait to pop the Blu-Ray in.
Come back next week, same bat time, for the scoop on the new releases.
Plans for a Dead Space film, based on the popular video game, were announced yesterday. Variety reports that director D.J. Caruso (Eagle Eye, Disturbia) is set to helm the film, while EA and the two Twilight producers, Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey, will produce. No word on how Dead Space will affect the Y: The Last Man, film based on the comic of the same name, that Caruso is known to be in development for.
Dead Space is a sci-fi-horror telling the story of an engineer who boards an inactive space mining ship after receiving a distress call. Problem is the ship is overrun with nasty aliens and infected humans.
Typically I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a film adapted from a video game, but I recently sat down and played the game and was blown away. Though it’s not of the same story-telling calibre of Bioshock, Dead Space is an awesome little slice of sci-fi. The game itself is your typical Resident Evil style third-person space shooter, but the creators have balanced out a really decent story with some fun features like a complete lack of extra interface and some unique gameplay – you get to fool around in zero gravity and use telekinesis-like abilities, among other things. There’s also a ton of decent scares and a lot of holy shit my screen is filled with blood-thirsty monsters moments.
My real red flag with this news though is that for one, there has never been a good video-game adaptation, and two, D.J. Caruso has yet to really impress me. Disturbia was alright if not slightly unremarkable and Eagle Eye was a huge steamer.
More as it develops, in the meantime check out the Dead Space game if you haven’t (available on Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and PC).
Also, hey Caruso… labeouf is an okay actor, but please don’t cast him as the lead – it is not creepy nor atmospheric to hear ” no no no no no no no no” every time an alien comes round the corner.
The sequel to Disney’s TRON, 1982’s aweseome and equally important sci-fi action film, hasn’t been a mystery for quite some time. It was highlighted briefly at last year’s SDCC with some early footage that was bootlegged for a while. At that point it was rumored that the title would be TR2N. Then a few months ago, speculation was that the film would take the same name of it’s predecessor, simply and confusingly, TRON.
Well at SDCC today we got a whole lot more for our eyes to feast on for the anticipated follow up. The film is now officially titled TRON: LEGACY. There are light cycles. There is Jeff Bridges as Flynn. There is some serious viral buzz.
And there is footage. Check it out.
Color me impressed, this flick looks fun as hell. It appears to have the perfect blend of retro-stylization with some pretty beefy modern effects. It doesn’t look cheesey, it looks badass.
Here’s Disney’s official synopsis:
TRON is a 3D high-tech adventure set in a digital world that’s unlike anything ever captured on the big screen. Sam Flynn (GARRETT HEDLUND), the tech-savvy 27-year-old son of Kevin Flynn (JEFF BRIDGES), looks into his father’s disappearance and finds himself pulled into the same world of fierce programs and gladiatorial games where his father has been living for 25 years. Along with Kevin’s loyal confidant (OLIVIA WILDE), father and son embark on a life-and-death journey across a visually-stunning cyber universe that has become far more advanced and exceedingly dangerous.
Check out a picture of the new-ish light cycle:
Oh, and another badass thing about TRON: LEGACY – the soundtrack will be provided by Daft Punk.
Discuss.
The film will be released in Disney IMAX 3D in 2010.
Halloween is only 3 months away so you know what that means… time for yet another SAW movie.
This October will mark six years in a row that audiences have been given, and furiously lapped up a film from this franchise. Coinciding with SDCC, the powers that be have released a poster, teaser and a clip from the film.
Teaser Trailer
Clip from SAW VI
Poster #1
I report this not to encourage the film, but to ask how the hell has it come so far? If it’s one thing the SAW franchise is, it’s consistent. Every single movie has been a relatively disappointing execution of an only slightly interesting concept. I’m sure I don’t need to point out the absolute redundancy we’ve seen so far. Seriously. Why are these flicks still making money? What the hell do you tell someone when they ask hey, what’s this one about?
And if that’s not all, the powers that be have also confirmed a seventh film. Make no mistake about it folks, the only certainties in life are death, taxes and SAW.
IGN.com snagged themselves the first official artwork for Platinum Dunes’ Nightmare on Elm St. reimagining. Check out the poster below.
That is of course Watchmen’s Jackie Earle Haley under the fedora and striped sweater. Oh how it shows so much yet so little.
It’s good to see Platinum Dunes sticking to the visual inconography of Freddy (just like they did with Jason, to their credit). Apparently, if what we’ve heard from recent set visits are true, be prepared to see a more serious, frightening and equally burned Kruger.
The film opens April 16, 2010. GKS will have more info as it becomes available, so don’t nobody go nowhere.
Woah woah woah… before you storm the doors all at once, let me explain the gig…
Giant Killer Squid is looking for talented, enthusiastic writers to contribute to any and all area of the site’s coverage. This includes, but is not limited to breaking news stories, reviews, editorials, interviews and podcasting in the area of anything nerd – so film, television, comics, video games, toys, etc. GKS is still in a state of infancy so we need your help bringing it from the depths of the net to the pulse of society.
Still interested?
Contact us (via form below) with some info about yourself, what you’re into and any links with samples of previous articles – basic html and image editing abilities is a plus.
GKS is an equal opportunity employer – droids and replicants are welcome here.
Alright kids, fast and furious, we have our first look at Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in the upcoming Iron Man 2.
Check her, Tony Stark and Mickey Rourke’s Whiplash out on the next cover for Entertainment Weekly.
Also, Joblo.com nabbed another image of ScarJo as the redheaded Russian.
What do you guys think? I think she looks great. If I were to nitpick I’d say the curly hair had to go, but as you can tell from the pics, they’ve really kept the character’s look akin to that of the comics.
CONTEST WINNER:
Congratulations to Adam of Joppa, MD for winning this here giveaway!
You smell that in the air?
That’s Watchmen fever coming back, as we gear up for next week’s release of Watchmen – The Director’s Cut on DVD and Blu-Ray.
Well to celebrate this epic event in home video release we here at Giant Killer Squid are giving away a copy of the two-disc DVD to one lucky reader.
What do you have to do? Nothing!
Between now and next Thursday, July 23rd, send an email over to contest [at] giantkillersquid [dot] com with ‘WATCHMEN DVD’ in the subject line. Be sure to
include your full name and address and while you’re at it tell us your favorite scene in the movie.
The winner will be announced next Friday, July 24th and will also notified via email.
Check out the specs below for the DVD in question:
Someone’s killing our super heroes. The year is 1985 and super heroes have banded together to respond to the murder of one of their own. They soon uncover a sinister plot that puts all of humanity in grave danger. The super heroes fight to stop the impending doom only to find themselves a target for annihilation. But, if our super heroes are gone, who will save us?
Disc 1:
Director’s cut of the film (186 minutes) Disc 2:
The Phenomenon: The Comic that Changed Comics (30 min.)
Webisodes (38 min.)
Music Video: My Chemical Romance Desolation Row (3 min.)
Digital Copy – Theatrical version
The whirlwind of casting rumors can finally be put to rest as we now have our Green Lantern – Ryan Reynolds.
The news of this casting comes quickly since this morning’s rumors that the role of Hal Jordan had been narrowed down to three actors: Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and Justin Timberlake. Yeah, Justin Timberlake. This is all even after countless reports of auditions and meetings and apparent near-signs from a dozen other actors including Ryan Gosling, Jack Black, Emile Hirsch, Jared Leto and a slew of other young up and comers.
Reynolds is no stranger to comic book characters, having played the vampire-slaying nightstalker Hanibal King in Blade: Trinity, and a variation of the merc with a mouth Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Lately, Reynolds has been talking up his involvement in developing a Deadpool spin-off film over at FOX, but with this mega casting news – for Marvel’s peer/rival publishing house DC comics – may leave that project up in the air.
As a huge Green Lantern fan the news of Reynolds as Hal Jordan pacifies me. I’m really happy with this choice; I think Reynolds has got the acting chops, the charm and the screen presence to really flesh-out the character on-screen. I think the dude is really funny too; something that the character isn’t totally known for, but will definitely help to ease the general audience into the tone of the Green Lantern universe. Let’s not forget that for a newer DC film, we will be expected to take a leap of faith from Batman Begins and The Dark Knight to swallow all the wacky looking Green Lanterns and power rings that can form anything the mind and willpower can imagine.
Though in a perfect world Nathan Fillion would’ve landed the role, this could be the perfect close-second when you consider the overall package you’re getting with Ryan Reynolds (that’s what she said).
The film, which Warner Bros. plans on beginning shooting early 2010, will be directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale). Early drafts of the script – one of which I’ve read, and enjoyed – are said to be epic in scale and quite respectful to the source material.
We will give you more news on the Green Lantern film as it is revealed.
We’ve got some new details on the next deluxe, or as I call them luxury, collectible from collectibles masters Hot Toys. A while ago we showcased the first in a deluxe line of Dark Knight figures from Hot Toys, the MMSDX01 The Joker.
This time, Batman is up for the Hot Toys treatment, with a beautiful, movie-accurate figure worthy of any collector’s cabinet.
The figure includes:
- Figure stands approximately 32cm tall.
- Two functional heads, one including light-up sonar eyes as seen in the film.
- Heads feature the Parallel Eyeball Rolling System (PERS) and translucent iris.
- Three interchangeable facial expressions.
- Fully detailed Batman suit.
- Accessories: the film’s sticky-bomb gun, grapling gun, backpack, holsters, mines, and two interchangeable utility belts.
- Three pairs of interchangeable hands.
- Figure comes with a deluxe LED light-up stand.
No specific release date for the figure has been released yet, but we can expect this pricey item to hit retailers sometime in first quarter 2010.
Check out the gallery below for some pretty incredibly product shots.
Realize it kids, we’re watching the rising sun at the dawn of the dumb.
As a passionate filmophile I’m really terrified right now. I may be young, but I’ve seen a lot of movies during my life and the last couple years have been as disappointing as they have been profound. Profound in the sense that, holy shit, we are being subjected to utter stupidity. Now, I realize that there have been stupid movies since the creation of film and the medium. If you’re going to open the creative channels to any Joe or Jane with a camera and some cash you are bound to get some rat feces in there. I realize we can’t all be Scorceses or Herzogs or Speilbergs, but for God’s sake does every movie that comes out these days have to treat me like I’m a country bumpkin? Sorry, no offence to you country bumpkins out there, we appreciate your patronage. It’s easy enough to say ‘Michael Bay is an idiot’ or ‘Paul W.S. Anderson couldn’t direct drying paint’, but really, are they the one’s to blame? With the exception of Uwe Boll, quite possibly the worst filmmaker alive today – who makes his films through independent financiers and tax breaks – there’s a reason that these people have careers and continue to make this shit.
That reason?
Us. The audience.
The ridiculous amount of people that plunk down their hard-earned cash every Friday to see whatever movie had the most commercials during Dancing With The Stars.
Don’t get me wrong, I love how the medium is starting to thrive again. I love how the movie theater is a part of people’s lives, people’s way of escaping the hum-drum of the weekly grind. That’s not what I’m on about. I truly believe that we as a collective audience, deserve more. I’m just incredibly dumbfounded why we don’t demand it.
Transformer: Revenge of the Fallen is a perfect example. In a mere three weeks, this film has made over $310,000,000 domestically. It is also one of the most poorly reviewed films I’ve seen in a while, and the word of mouth is just atrocious. It truly is one of those films that objectively just fails and treats its audience like they are devoid of any intelligence. So what drives people to go see it? What drove so many people to go to Beverly Hills Chihuahua? These films made so much bank that the old ‘it’s for kids’ argument is moot. Almost as if the seats were lined with cocaine, we line up in hordes to have our lids unscrewed and farted on for over 90 minutes.
I know that films are subjective. I know that opinion is a big factor of determining a film’s quality. I dare you though, dear reader, dear film-goer, to ask yourself why did I like this?
All too often I hear these stupid movies defended or argued as being just entertainment. I go to these movies to turn my brain off and just be entertained. I want to just relax and not have to think. Listen to yourself. You don’t want to think. I understand the idea of escapism, hell I indulge in it more than the average person, but there is something so worrisome about that kind of catharsis that one feels the need to take part in. I for one like to feel involved with what I’m watching, connected to the story being told in front of me. I don’t mean to make any of you feel bad, but I do encourage you as I try to encourage myself to continue asking, why did I like that movie?
C’mon, it’s a popcorn movie or what did you expect, it’s giant fighting robots aren’t reasons for liking films. They are excuses.
Think of it this way: you have a little five year kid. It is dinner time. It wants candy. As a responsible adult, do you feed it candy for dinner? Unless you’re one of the aforementioned country bumpkins, then no. You may give the kid a little candy treat every now and then, but a full meal? No. Because that is unhealthy. My point is that we are those kids, and the studios are those bad parents. They are giving us candy every single night because we begged and cried and kicked for it. This is the rare occasion where we need to stop being fucking babies, man-up and eat our greens. Guess what? Just like in real life, it’s more healthy! But waaahhh the junk food tastes better!
No. It doesn’t.
There’s been some great films released in the last couple of years to have proved that these blockbuster fun action films can be great without being utterly stupid. Films like The Dark Knight, Iron Man and Star Trek were a total blast and had a really great impact on audiences, critics and the box office dollar. So why is it that we don’t see the stark contrast between one of those and Transformers 2? That’s like taking the Pepsi challenge with one can of soda and one can of beans.
I saw a behind-the-scenes for G-Force the other night, you know, the next CG animal shit-fest. This time they’ve turned hamsters into covert espionage operatives or something. More than how the kids will love it, I’m terrified of how many parents will enjoy it too. It’s the same reason Beverly Hills Chihuahua succeeded. It makes me weep, it really does. G-Force and Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (no lie, that’s the title) will be release on 4,000 screens while Moon and The Hurt Locker get less than a dozen.
Supply and demand reins supreme over survival of the fittest.
Next time you go to the movies, or flip through the DVD racks really ask yourself, why do I like this? You may not realize it, but what you like – or what you think you like – is what is getting these flicks made.
If I begin to ramble, forgive me. I’ve been meaning to write this piece for a while now, but haven’t been sure of my approach. It’s been a relatively slow few days for Giant Killer Squid so I’m all for just unscrewing the head and letting it all fall out.
So here we go.
Twilight.
If you’re a regular reader of GKS and/or other film-blogs, you may have noticed that Twilight is absent from any and all news reports here. No reviews, no trailers, no rumors, no posters, no nothing. Granted, 75% of film-blogs are taking the piss out of the film series based on the ridiculously-well selling books, there is a reason for the lack of coverage. It’s not just pure laziness.
To be frank (you can be Shirley), as the editor of Giant Killer Squid, I like to think I know the audience that I write to and for. That’s the thing about writing for the Internet, if your readers aren’t jiving on your stuff, they’re not really your readers are they? I know this is a passive, maybe even naive way of thinking about it, but I completely stand by it. Our readers, our audience comes here for news and commentary regarding film, television, comics and video games. There is a lot of genre crossing, there’s no doubt about it, but we generally lean towards the horror-sci-fi-action-comic-book flavor. That’s not to say that we won’t cover other major news, or share our thoughts on relevant issues and topics, but as a small (starving) website, we like to think we know our target and try to hit a bulls-eye as much as possible in terms of content. To report news on Twilight, even though it is followed feverishly by many, simply doesn’t make much sense for GKS. And this isn’t just about Twilight – it’s for the same reason we don’t run stories on Sex and the City, for example.
Now, I must be completely clear about one thing, I most certainly do not begrudge any other film-sites or blogs for reporting on Twilight. Many, if not most do and I get it. Those editors and writers know their audience more than I know mine I’m sure. I’m also in no way accusing anyone of traffic-baiting, Just want to be clear on that. I get why sites report on Twilight with passive-aggressive dismissal. It’s news, it’s incredibly talked about, and more importantly, it’s incredibly surfed and clicked.
I guess that’s me making a mountain of a molehill, but I felt it should be addressed to our readers, as I’ve been asked more than a few times about the absence of Twilight. It just don’t fit.
For the record, I have seen the film. Though I wouldn’t deem it unwatchable, I would go as far to say that it is unhealthy, especially for the young teen audience that it is targeted at. The film itself is pretty adequate, the cinematography is quite nice, the locations in particular are beautiful. I’ve seen worse performances for a relatively new cast with young, handsome people. The story, however, is just ridiculous and dare I say stupidly written. There’s nothing subtle at all about anything. It plays out like a knock-off 80’s brat-pack film with subtitles that read ‘SUBTEXT ALERT: ABSTINENCE! DON’T HAVE SEX! PEER PRESSURE IS BAD!’.
We get it. You’re comparing vampirism to sexual urge.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Sending a message of abstinence, or at least practicing safe, protected, consensual sex is a noble mission. But it’s not cool when a film preaches unrealistic expectations and characters to a young, impressionable crowd. That’s what I mean by ‘unhealthy’. In the same way that reality dating shows like The Bachelor portray a superficial way to pursue a relationship. The expectations of the opposite sex are approaching laughable as it is, now we need to have fucking diamond skin to nail that girl? It really is just terribly written swill, there’s not an ounce of quality, of meat to be found.
I’ll end it here before this turns into a full-blown review and then to a nation-wide call for book burning. My point is that I mean no ill-will to fans of the book and film, nor to the sites that choose to cover this Twilight phenomenon, but you will never see a Twilight news piece on Giant Killer Squid.
Unless of course, enough of you write in asking for it. Please don’t.
The wait is almost over for Zach Snyder’s incredible film adaptation of Watchmen to hit DVD and Blu-Ray. The film will be released to retailers this July 21st and this one is a must-own for fans, Blu-Ray-philes and Watchmen fiends alike. As with most comic-book-super-fan-summer films, this movie will no doubt see an endless amount of releases and re-releases each with the most superficial of differences. But to us mega-fans, does it really even matter.
The film will initially be released in a two-disc Director’s Cut – a theatrical version is available on DVD only – with a third, coaster-worthy digital copy disc. This Director’s Cut has a run-time of over 3 hours; that’s approximately 30 mins of more footage than was shown in the theatrical version. Full details on what these scenes will include are still pretty unknown with the exception being the well-known-filmed on-screen death of the original Nite Owl, Hollis Mason.
Full Disc Specs:
Disc 1 (BD-50):
Director’s cut of the film (186 minutes)
Interactive “Ultimate Watchmen Experience”
BD-Live
Disc 2 (BD-25):
The Phenomenon: The Comic that Changed Comics (30 min.)
Real Super Heroes, Real Vigilantes (27 min.)
Mechanics: Technologies of a Fantastic World (27 min.)
Webisodes (38 min.)
Music Video: My Chemical Romance Desolation Row (3 min.)
Disc 3 (DVD):
Digital Copy – Theatrical version
If you’re more of a collector, there are some special-er editions of this release. Blu-Ray owners can pick up Amazon.com’s exclusive Nite Owl Ship collector’s set which features the three Director’s Cut discs hidden inside a pretty cool looking statuette of Nite Owl’s ship, Archie. Apparently this beaut has lights and sounds. Again, it’s only exclusive to those shopping online at Amazon.com, and has a fairly hefty price tag of $79.99.
My local Best Buy is also advertising this hideous Rorschach mask packaging for both DVD and Blu-Ray,while HMV UK is offering a similar package with the lifeless face of Dr. Manhattan. Creepy.
Zach Snyder has also been dropping hints for a “Black Freighter” cut of the film, essentially the Director’s Cut with the previously released animated story-within-a-story, The Black Freighter, cut into the film throughout the full run-time. This edition, which really only has appeal to hardcore fans, would run approximately 3 hours and 45 minutes. No release date or further details have been released.
I know I will be having one hell of a Watchmen party on July 21st, and you’re all welcome to come over and enjoy Watchmen on Blu-Ray in all it’s glory.
This should set you Gilliam fans alight, the first full trailer for his upcoming The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Or, as the majority of mainstream film-goers will call it, Heath Ledger’s Last Movie.
Before this film was released, we all scoffed at the idea of a GI Joe film. Then the first trailer came out and we had pretty much written it off already, eyes rolling, groaning loudly. I’ll admit that I myself had the absolute lowest expectations for this film. Although Paramount decided not to screen GI Joe: Rise of Cobra to critics and news outlets prior to its release, there were a select bunch that managed to see the flick a little early. When those reviews came out, we read with one eye open, as if peering through the window as you drove by a horrific car-wreck. But that wasn’t the case. In one of the biggest film review “double takes”, a fair amount of popular, trusted online writers actually dug the film.
Devoted GI Joe fans will most likely not be disappointed with the exception of some visual discrepancies from the source material. There are plenty of little nods to the cartoon here and there, but if you are not in the know then you might not notice – like they say, knowing is half the battle. The characters are pulled off quite well with Baroness, Snake Eyes and Stormshadow no doubt giving fans what they want. Cobra Commander (who doesn’t quite become “cobra” nor “commander” until the very end of the film) looks nothing like his iconic visual presence, but for what he lacks in visual nostalgia he makes up with in voice and dialogue. This character is a real-life comic book villain, his lines equally over the top as they are smile inducing. Although the Cobra Commander voice isn’t quite the same as we hear in our heads (”Coooobbbbrraaaaa!”), it’s so perfectly Snidley Whiplash in delivery. I suspect many die-hards to be displeased with the the costume design – there is no hood or helmet in this one folks. The rest of the cast is slightly more than passable, and for the most part fit their characters well. Do prepare yourself for the occasional cringe-worthy line of dialogue though, and like most PG-13 action films, the comedy is almost never funny. Unless you’re the mid-thirty year old guy sitting next to me who hollered, hacked and clapped at every contrived remark. But hey, if you’re going to do action based on toys, you are bound to have some rat feces in there.
Space! Zombies! Monsters! Futuristic mining equipment!
The whirlwind of casting rumors can finally be put to rest as we now have our Green Lantern – Ryan Reynolds.
Though in a perfect world Nathan Fillion would’ve landed the role, this could be the perfect close-second when you consider the overall package you’re getting with Ryan Reynolds (that’s what she said).
If I begin to ramble, forgive me. I’ve been meaning to write this piece for a while now, but haven’t been sure of my approach. It’s been a relatively slow few days for Giant Killer Squid so I’m all for just unscrewing the head and letting it all fall out.
The wait is almost over for Zach Snyder’s incredible film adaptation of Watchmen to hit DVD and Blu-Ray. The film will be released to retailers this July 21st and this one is a must-own for fans, Blu-Ray-philes and Watchmen fiends alike. As with most comic-book-super-fan-summer films, this movie will no doubt see an endless amount of releases and re-releases each with the most superficial of differences. But to us mega-fans, does it really even matter.
– a theatrical version is available on DVD only – with a third, coaster-worthy digital copy disc. This Director’s Cut has a run-time of over 3 hours; that’s approximately 30 mins of more footage than was shown in the theatrical version. Full details on what these scenes will include are still pretty unknown with the exception being the well-known-filmed on-screen death of the original Nite Owl, Hollis Mason.
which features the three Director’s Cut discs hidden inside a pretty cool looking statuette of Nite Owl’s ship, Archie. Apparently this beaut has lights and sounds. Again, it’s only exclusive to those shopping online at Amazon.com, and has a fairly hefty price tag of $79.99.
