I saw this a few months ago (you know, before you had heard of it, bro), but Bleeding Cool refreshed my memory today. Basically, a gentleman named Gary Shore – a relatively new director who cut his teeth directing some big commercials – took it upon himself to make an incredibly badass Wolverine short-film-cum-faux-trailer out of still images, animations, score and black magic. Honestly, I don’t know how the hell he did it, but it is stunning. Watch it below: Read the rest of this entry »
Hola lords and ladies! I know it’s been a while since we’ve last chatted, personal commitments and novel work have kept me pretty busy over October and November. Before I hunker back down into novel-mode I thought I’d put out one more e-soapbox rant for you all to enjoy!
We’re quickly heading into the holiday season, oh joy. Nothing fills me with more dread, bile and hatred than the madness of the holiday season. The only real respite is the seasonal movies that can take some of the Xmas rage away. But I’m not talking about ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’, ‘Frosty the Snowman’ and ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’, movies and specials so disgustingly sweet they make your teeth fall out of your head. No, the following list of holiday movies are for those of us that had our hearts shrink five sizes. Lords and Ladies, I faithfully submit for your enjoyment:
The list of Christmas movies and Specials for the cynic!
1) Santa’s Slay – Wrestler Bill Goldberg stars as a Santa Claus that kills people! The story goes that Santa was a virgin birth produced by Satan and Christmas was a ‘day of slaying’ for him until he was defeated by an angel in a curling match in 1005 and forced to deliver presents to children for the next 1000 years. Well, time’s up on the agreement and Saint Nick goes on a killing spree! It’s up to a crafty kid and his smart-assed grandfather to find a way to bring him down. Any movie that has Santa’s sleigh being pulled by ‘hell-deer’ is worth watching in my book!
2) Black Christmas – This proto-slasher film was directed by Bob Clark (Porky’s, A Christmas Story) and starred Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey and John Saxon as a group of college students face off against a deranged serial killer that lurks in the attic of their sorority house. This is the story where the now-infamous ‘the calls are coming from inside the house’ trope in later horror films would come from. It even goes against the much later horror stereotype of the virginal college student surviving to the end, as the lone survivor was pregnant and was considering having an abortion. Watch this one with the lights on people!
3) Jack Frost – No, I’m not talking about that Michael Keaton vehicle about the dad who is reincarnated as a snowman to be with his son on Christmas. This Jack Frost is a serial killer being driven to his execution when he is in an accident involving a truck carrying genetic material, mutating Jack into a killer snowman! Featuring the ‘acting’ debut of Shannon Elizabeth, this heckle-worth film will keep you laughing all night long!
4) Dennis Leary’s Merry F*ckin’ Christmas – This one’s really self-explanatory. Dennis hosts a holiday special featuring Charlie Murphy (Eddie’s comic brother), Carmen Electra asking for donations to ‘Tits for Tots’ and The Barefaced Ladies singing holiday classics. This special is always a must-see for me!
5) Die Hard (and Die hard 2) – Yippee-Ki-Yay motherfucker! Bruce Willis’ star making turns as Det. John McLane are the perfect holiday movies! You have terrorists, guns, explosions and Reginald Veljohnson (Carl Winslow from ‘Family Matters’)! What more could you possibly want out of a holiday film!
There you have it, my list of holiday classics to watch with a nice bowl of popcorn and a hot chocolate. Alright lords and ladies, time for me to get back to novel-writing, so this’ll be it until the New Year.
Happy Holidays from Giant Killer Squid and the Asylum!
Read my original review, circa April of this year, here.
Of all the films of 2010 (so far), I’ve probably debated the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street the most. Not because the films is unusually controversial or boundary-pushing, but because I seem to be in the minority. I really liked it.
As with any horror remake, the deck was stacked against this one from the beginning, especially considering the cultural impact Wes Craven’s film had on us and the horror genre. The original – and to a lesser degree its long, bumpy franchise – is considered a classic. And rightfully so; even though revisiting Craven’s 1984 film might show more cheese than you remembered, the Freddy character – his means, his methods and his mouth – is indelible. Did the remake even have a chance?
Hardly.
To me, Samuel Bayer’s re-imagination of the Springwood slasher does what every successful horror remake, as few as they are, strives to do: twist the film to be its own, in some way. Gone are the quips, the one-liners and the PG-13 cursing, and are instead replaced with a vile child-molester. Jackie Earle Haley’s Krueger plays out like the Freddy we all love, mixed in with a little To Catch A Predator.
The story is pretty much the same this time around, with exception to an added sub-plot questioning the validity of Freddy’s guilt; the film goes where the original only hinted, confirming Krueger to have dabbled in the diddling. The origin of the character, and the way he dispenses of the children of Elm St. is intact. Many of the scenes, like the bedroom murder of the post-coital blonde girl, are still in the film, albeit with a slick polish and modern teens (complete with dialogue that no youth would ever really spout). The film has been under plenty of fire for being saturated with unlikeable characters with no depth (or, in this case, Depp… har har). Not to defend this claim, but I ask, did the original? Has any big franchise slasher or remake (the original Halloween excluded) really shown any character development?
Whether you liked the film or not, you can’t refute the film has balls for taking such an iconic character and portraying him in a different way. Whether that’s the right way or not, this is a very different Freddy, both tonally and physically (though the trademark sweater, fedora and glove remains). The film is dark and gritty, with a layer of filth you’ll have to wash off afterwards. But it is also quite predictable and suffers from a rushed and anticlimactic third act. Jackie Earle’s Freddy is worth the watch alone though, if only to see how different the portrayal of one of the most iconic characters in pop-culture.
The Blu-Ray – complete with DVD and digital copy – features a fantastic video transfer with acceptable audio quality. If you enjoyed the film, it’s well worth the extra dollars to pick up in hi-def.
Available NOW on Blu-ray Combo Pack, DVD, On Demand and for Download! http://bit.ly/nightfb
Jonah Hex. Now here’s a film that seemed to light a fire under fans of the long-running comic series. For the record, I have not read any of the series, my only familiarity with the disfigured outlaw is what I’ve seen on the comic book covers and the fervor overheard from those who hold Mr. Hex close to their hearts. With that in mind, I can’t compare the film to the source material, and a the end of the day nor should I. A film is its own and should stand, or fall, based on what it is.
So. What is Jonah Hex?
I will say this: it’s interesting. It’s not a good film by any means, but it also isn’t as horribly unwatchable as most have painted it to be. There are some redeeming elements and also some very detrimental elements, both of which I’ll get to. The film opens with the most compressed origin story of any comic book movie; confederate soldier Hex (Josh Brolin) betrays Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), his commanding officer, resulting in Turnbull burning down Hex’s house – with his wife and child inside – and branding his face, giving him that oh-so-un-leading-man-ish facial scar. From then we leap right into a brief animated intro, and we’re off to the races with Hex – now much more haggard and surly – trying to stop Turnbull from unleashing a horrific army while clearing his own not-so-savory record.
I like Josh Brolin a lot, and he’s probably the best person to touch the role of Jonah. There’s just something off in this flick. I like how his scar was achieved with practical makeup effects, but it does limit his performance. I can see that he’s delivering his lines well, he’s acting, sure, but the damn scar just makes his delivery look goofy most of the time. Across the board however, the performances – especially from Megan Fox – are close to that of a well done local theatre group. I blame a fair amount of this on poor dialogue. The script is just too typical of a period piece, with the cast not really nailing the nuance of the language. Brolin and Malkovich fit right in comfortable, but several stars, like Arrested Development’s Will Arnet and the aforementioned Fox, stick out like a very sore thumb.
Director Jimmy Hayward tries to do some interesting things in this film, and I’ll give him credit for making this hyper-post-civil-war-reality atmospheric.. kinda. The production ultimately feels cheap. There’s just too much conflicting style at work, and the film feels unguided because of it. It’s pretty clear that the real bad guy in the film isn’t Turnbull, but the screenplay from Crank masterminds Neveldine & Taylor. It’s just all over the place, paced erratically and insincere at every turn.
If you were looking for something to praise the film for, the costume and set design is quite good, lending some authenticity and aesthetic to an otherwise superfluous mashup of genres. And Mastodon’s soundtrack – though entirely unfitting, underused and watered down by Marco Beltrami – is worth listening to.
At the end of the day, Jonah Hex is an unremarkable-yet-on-par entry to the comic book film genre as seen five years ago. It’s the perfect companion to such grey-stained big-screen translations of Daredevil, Ghost Rider and Fantastic Four. The real crime here is that there was so much potential for a truly unique film, one that incorporated elements of action and sci-fi within a western.
From the Academy Award winning director of An Inconvenient Truth comes WAITING FOR SUPERMAN, the intense look at the state of public education in the United States. Early reviews of the film indicate this one is a ‘can’t miss’.
We’re giving away some ADMIT TWO passes for the film, good at The Globe theatre, Calgary, during the film’s theatrical run.
Entering is easy – leave a comment on this page and you’re automatically entered. Winners will be notified via email next Sunday, October 17th.
Waiting For Superman hits Canadian theatres this Friday. Visit the official site for more info.
This Friday, a day that will live in infamy, marks the 3rd big-screen reunion of the Jackass crew and GKS is celebrating by giving away JACKASS 3D prize packs to two lucky readers.
What’s in these prize packs, you ask? Inside each Jackass Party Supply Kit you will find:
• An ADMIT TWO pass to see the film at any Cineplex theatre during it’s theatrical run.
• Two Jackass 3D t-shirts.
• Party blowers.
• Cups.
• Shot glasses.
• Ping pong balls.
• Posters.
Winning one is simple – in the comments section below, tell us the worst injury you’ve ever received. Winners will be notified by email next Sunday, October 17th. This giveaway is for Canadian readers only.
Back in 2005 The Descent hit screens, heralding in a new high for horror. The film was gritty and claustrophobic, preying on a very common, very real fear. The concept, though invoking the supernatural, was still simple: you are stuck in a series of underground caves. Here we are in 2010 and writer/director Adam Green (Hatchet, Hatchet II) has taken the same approach and streamlined it into an inventive little thriller called FROZEN.
So what is that concept? It’s entirely brilliant in that why-didn’t-I-think-of-that sort of way: three friends hit the ski hill for some fun in the snow and take a late night chair-lift up the mountain… where it gets stuck. They quickly realize, after all the lights in the resort are shut off, that they’re are the only ones on the hill, with the resort closed for a week. I won’t give away any more details on where the story goes, but let’s just say it goes from bad to worse many times over.
It’s easy to write a film like Frozen off, especially with such an unusual and intangible adversary – hell, the response I’ve received from telling people about the film is usually along the lines of “really? It’s actually good?!” – but the film is really fun and a terrific thriller. There are a ton of “WTF moments” and scenes that are hard to watch, though not too gory. Frozen is a nightmare. It’s more than enough being stuck up there in the bitter cold with the elements, but the ordeals these three have to go through are truly what horror is made of.
A narrow film like this is all about the characters, and the film doesn’t disappoint. The performances from the three – Emma Bell, Shawn Ashmore (this time a literal Iceman) and Kevin Zegers – are believable and emotional. Unlike The Descent, which had a few too many throw-away characters, it’s easy to actually care about these kids. It’s no challenge to become invested in their plight, making the situation that much more frightening. Adam Green knows how to pace a film and make audiences squirm, but beyond that he can write decent dialogue between the three, a feat that’s harder than any other aspect, especially in the genre.
The less you know about Frozen, the better, so with that I leave you to check the film out. I guarantee it will surprise you, leaving you telling your friends to check out ‘this little horror flick about the kids stuck in the chair lift’. The blu-ray, which is out now for $9.99, also has some really interesting behind-the-scenes features chronicling the difficult shooting conditions.
Patton Oswalt, a brilliant and wise artisan, once said “I don’t give a shit where the stuff I love comes from, I just love the stuff I love”. I think it’s fair to say that even with the critical acclaim David Fincher’s THE SOCIAL NETWORK is receiving, a large amount of the world will take that approach with “the Facebook movie”. Little do these people know, the story behind the most frequented social networking site is nowhere near as boring or superfluous as your news feed and status updates.
Based on The Accidental Billionare by Ben Mezrich, The Social Network – written by Aaron Sorkin, directed by David Fincher – tells the true story of the creation and imminent success of Facebook; the rise and fall of Mark Zuckerberg. Though to be fair the only thing that falls is his reputation, while he lands on heaping mounds of millions.
This is David Fincher’s least Fincher-esque movie to date, leaving behind the bio-mechanical first-person style he’s become famous for, and focusing on solid, character-driven drama thanks to an exceptional ensemble cast. Jesse Eisenberg leads the film as Mark Zuckerberg, painting the Facebook founder as less of an arrogant dick, but more of a socially-clueless-or-just-doesn’t-give-a-fuck dick. And he does so indelibly and convincingly. Eisneberg is flanked with equal talent in Andrew Garfield (our future Peter Parker) as Eduardo Saverin, the level-headed, morally sound “victim” in all the drama. Garfield is definitely on my radar, and although I still have a tough time imagining him as Spider-Man, there’s no doubt that this guy can act, and will likely be raking in the roles from here on out.
The performance that really struck me as exceptional however, is Armie Hammer playing two roles, that of the Harvard rowing twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss who claim the Facebook concept was theirs. I loved their characters in this film, and Armie Hammer – a relative unknown, though previously cast as Batman in George Miller’s now-defunct Justice League film – blows not one but two roles out of the water. The twins are so perfectly all-American and Ivy League, almost a satire of the archetype, while being interesting, sympathetic, and downright funny. My favorite line in the film comes from one of the twins, “…I’m six-five, two-twenty and there’s two of me.”
Sadly, Justin Timberlake, who showed some acting promise with Alpha Dog and his Saturday Night Live appearance, is the weakest link to the cast. Though he’s still pretty good, his portrayal of Napster founder Sean Parker leaves little impression, and Timberlake just doesn’t seem as comfortable in front of the camera as the rest of the cast.
Important as any character in the film, is the score provided by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. If you haven’t heard the score yet – available here for $5 – it’s mesmerizing, anthemic and emotive; easily some of Reznor’s best work. And it fits the film perfectly, with equal parts technological and organic. I strongly suggest you give the album a listen, it definitely holds its own as a cohesive body of work, not just an accompaniment.
It was an unusual feeling, sitting in the theatre watching a drama about Facebook, a relatively new, still fresh part of our culture. It felt like this was something that should happen post-mortem, but still I came home and checked my news feed. Hell I’ll be posting this review to the very app built on the backs of those men. Those men now sleeping on billions because of me doing so. And yet, The Social Network is important. It is relevant. It’s also a damn fine film, the Wall Street of our trans-media generation. We need to know how the things we love come to be, even if it is from one side (I’m sure Zuckerberg has his own version), and in this case the film is a story worth telling, done expertly so.
If the response to LET ME IN has been anything at all, it’s been passionate. It has sparked debate and discussion. It has opened up audiences to dissection and analysis of film. For that reason alone, especially in a climate so heavy with remakes, retellings, reboots and sequels, Let Me In is an important film. Beyond that, it is an exceptionally made film that unfortunately will never escape the shadow of its predecessor, the Swedish Let The Right One In.
Tomas Alfredson’s 2008 film has been called everything from ‘brilliant’ to ‘masterpiece’ to ‘modern classic’. Naturally, with Matt Reeve’s American version, you’re bound to fight resistance, comparison and passion. While Let Me In adheres to the narrative, adapted from John Ajvide Lindqvist’s novel, the US film is the product of a different artistic vision. This is Reeve’s interpretation of the source material, not simply a remake of Alfredson’s film. And after all, isn’t that what makes some remakes not only great, but worth retelling?
Let Me In moves the story from Stockholm to New Mexico, centering on young Owen, a boy seemingly at the whipping end of life. Owen befriends Abby, the unusual little girl that just moved into his apartment complex, and as the trailer suggests, she is a vampire. It isn’t long before their relationship blossoms and the pain of being loved only by that which isn’t living becomes apparent. One thing to note of Reeve’s English version, is that the film does play out darker and with more horror elements than the Swedish film, something I thought was quite clear with the trailers. LMI is tonally very different from LTROI because of this. Matt Reeve’s also shines in this aspect; his camera work and lighting is some of the best of the year, as is Michael Giacchino’s brooding, emotional score. Visually, Reeve’s has more aesthetic style than Alfredson. That isn’t the claim that LMI is a better film, it’s merely proof that it is a vastly different film, should you view film as an art (and if you don’t, why read this?). I choose not to have these two films compete, as they both hold such strong merits and both deserve to be seen.
If there were one film to make up for the harsh bastardization of the vampire mythos of the last decade, it would be this. Don’t go in expecting a balls-out horror as the trailers and tv spots suggest. That’s far from what you’ll get. LMI is the story of a young boy, not a blood-sucking vampire. It’s unapologetic in its harshness and equally as discomforting as the bitter cold onscreen. And it’s entirely relatable. The pain felt in the film, beyond that of the neckwounds, are very real and presented in beautiful agony.
While “remaking” a film such as Let The Right One In (named after a Morrissey song, fyi) has split audiences and fans, you can’t deny that Let Me In is not only a valiant undertaking, but a unique film with a stellar cast (Chloe Moretz trumps anything that Dakota Fanning has done before her) and a distinct visual style. Sure minor (I say superfluous) details have been changed, added or subtracted in comparison to Alfredson’s version, but so what? The film that exists is a whole, not a part, and it completely works and impresses alone.
In the last month I’ve been in a theatre three times where the trailer for Devil has played before the feature. Each and every time, the theatre let out an audible groan when ‘from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan’ hit the screen. While in my head I echoed their sentiment, it’s disheartening that Devil will be met with resistance from some, based on M. Night’s involvement alone. While his name is slapped all over the film and its marketing, Shyamalan is credited as producer and coming up with the idea – he did not write the screenplay, nor direct.
And while the Nega-Midas touch of M. Night makes us all a little weary, Devil is actually a very enjoyable little film. I’m actually quite surprised at how into the film I am.
This marks the first film in The Night Chronicles, a sort of Tales From The Crypt meets The Outer Limits imprint for films of the supernatural-thriller genre. Each film is conceived by M. Night though he will not write or direct any of them. Devil, the inaugural flick, is more literal than it seems – five people find themselves stuck in an elevator and one of them is the Devil. Though more thriller than horror, it fills its succinct run-time with creepiness and atmosphere while making us play guess-who right to the very end.
Devil and The Night Chronicles make perfect sense. This is how M. Night can redeem himself. As horrible as his last three or four films have been, you can’t deny he’s got a creative mind with some unique stories left to be told. This is his chance to get those stories made, to collaborate with other creators and writers and directors while still leaving his mark on films. We forget that at one time Shyamalan was a potential force in genre films (don’t believe me, watch Unbreakable again). Devil has a very strong Twilight Zone feel to it, as if it came straight out of Rod Serling’s mind. It’s high-concept and small and to-the-point like it could be a regular tv series, but with a reasonable budget it goes a step further in production than anything ever done on The Outer Limits. I am really behind this Night Chronicles concept.
Devil is a very small film. It only runs 80 minutes and features faces you’ve really only seen twice at most, but can’t quite place. These are not criticisms by any stretch, if anything i like how tight the story is. The run time is split between the people stuck in the elevator, and the security and police officer inside the Philadelphia high-rise watching it all unfold and trying to piece it together. As quickly as they get stuck, they begin to fall one by one as the Devil has his way. Just don’t expect to see any snarling beasts or a demonoid Satan with horns, Devil holds back the reins and instead relies on our senses and an unseen terror to make us squirm.
I almost feel bad for writing this review with such shock, like all of my praise for the film is based on how I didn’t hate it. While that is most certainly true, don’t see that as the film being just not bad, there is some great work here. Director John Erick Dowd (Quarantine) has done an exceptional job, adding style and atmosphere to the film, something incredibly hard to do when the subjects of your film are confined to a very small elevator in which people are slaughtered by evil in human form. Lighting and camera angles are the film’s fulcrum, and are all handled very well and with innovation. Again, this is a very small film that brought out great things from the technical minds involved.
Brian Nelson wrote the film (from Shyamalan’s concept) which borrows strengths from his previous work – the slow-burning tension of Hard Candy and the isolation and horror of 30 Days of Night – making Devil a unique entry into the genre. The film doesn’t skip a beat, introducing us to our characters and defining the mythology right away letting it all unfold rather quickly. It’s not just a superfluous string of jump-scares and kills either; Devil mixes in themes of morality and malevolence while finding connections between the characters and making the whole ordeal actually have a point and a reason. As much as the film is based supernaturally, there are underlying elements that are plausible and relatable and entirely realistic. For those supernatural elements, I do applaud the use of subtlety, both in the script and its direction.
None of the acting in the film is anything to make note of, though everyone does their roles justice. With a film like Devil, again so rooted in the vain of The Twilight Zone, everyone behaves as they should and understands the context of their characters. It becomes clear very early in the film that any one of these people could be the Devil, while all of them give us reason to doubt it at the same time.
Another great element of the film is its score. It’s got that great 80’s sci-fi horror theme to it, with creeping violin strokes and broad, marching tones thanks to Fernando Velazquez.
The more I think about it, the more I enjoyed Devil. If the film is marred by having M. Night’s name attached to it, then that is a shame really, as Devil does deliver.
When I first saw the trailer for Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole – you know the one, with the slo-mo helmet adorned warrior owls, set to Jared Leto’s band channeling U2 – I admit, I sprung a big geeky one. It’s like someone read my childhood notebook and took the two most badass things I could think of, warrior helmets and owls, and handed ‘em over to the guy that made 300 and Watchmen and set him loose on it. But over time, with more recent posters and tv spots, and the incessant buzzing of ‘from the creators of Happy Feet‘, I began to worry that I would be let down by a really powerful concept made silly for kids. Then I showed up a little late to the pre-screening this morning, only to be surrounded by kidlets. Young ones too, even babies. It looked like free hot dog day at a lunchtime showing of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.
I was so wrong. Legend of the Guardians is everything I had wanted in my head when I saw the trailer, and everything I have come to expect from Zack Snyder.
The film, based on the book series The Guardians of Ga’Hoole by Kathryn Lasky (all 15 of which I have never heard of nor read), follows a young barn owl named Soren, who alongside his brother and many other owlets, are kidnapped by a group of owls bent on turning the young ones into an army to aid them in conquering all of the owl kingdom. Soren and Gylfie, the only defiant little furballs, escape and try to find the Guardians, a group of owl warriors believed only to be myth by most, to warn them of the oncoming owl threat, led by the Sauron-esque Metalbeak.
LotG is definitely a family film, but I’ve never quite seen one that embraces its maturity so much. During the movie I was certain that more than a few of the younglings in the theatre would be intimidated, if not scared by the film’s darkness. There are no silly sight gags and certainly not any kiddie-oriented jokes. There’s as much entertainment for the adult crowd, if not more. And it’s the best of both worlds, as the film is paced a lot faster than you would expect – especially considering Zack Snyder loves his epic lengths – making for a very straight forward, action-packed movie that you and your kids will never tire of.
The first thing I noticed however, is that the film looks fucking gorgeous in every aspect, from the owls and environments all the way to the cinematography. The camera work and animation is just stunning, and teamed with Zack Snyder’s direction – his signature style is intact, though he has dialed down on his speed-ramping calling card a significant amount – LotG could be the most gorgeous movie of the year. The owls are entirely believable within their environments, even when fighting in helmets and armor and lifting flaming sticks. Major kudos to the animation team behind it, I have the feeling this is going to be one of those blu-rays you demo to all of your friends.
Concept and appearance aside, the film is executed wonderfully. The story is great and I see a real potential to keep going with the franchise; Lord knows WB needs a non-DC family series to take over Harry Potter’s reign. I really hope that the Ga’Hoole series becomes that. If anything I think it could appeal to a much broader audience – the film exudes the same maturity as the Lord of the Rings while being far more accessible to a larger crowd.
I’m really hoping for a great opening weekend for LotG next week. It’s definitely one of my favorites of the year and deserves your dollars (if I were you, I’d pass on the 3D version – though much better than recent offerings, the film is still plagued with ghosting and clarity issues).
Do check it out, Legend of the Guardians opens next Friday, September 24th.
Hola Lords and Ladies! I’m going to get back to the usual nerdy diatribes and rants later on. Today however I want to discuss a subject that really and I do mean really, grinds my gears. We’ve all been there, an early or advanced screening for the latest comic-book epic or in line for a signing/sketch from your favorite author/artist. We are all standing together in a simple structure used to simplify the entry to the event, a line. Now when things go well this structure moves along quickly and everyone in said line goes away satisfied. When it doesn’t go right (to be detailed further down) it can be a mockingly cruel torture device designed to drive its participant’s batshit insane. The following are a set of rules (not guidelines, I’m not playing a DM right now) to make your experience and the experiences of others in the line more enjoyable.
#1 – Know what you want before you get to the front of the line.
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. In the case of a movie theater or a fast food restaurant where you have multiple selections to choose from you have plenty of time to make a choice while you are still moving through the line. The goal is, once you’re at the front, have your choice in mind and make your selection. I was in line last weekend to see ‘Machete’ and the two younger girls in front of me got to the front of the line. They both walked up to the cashier, but it seems as though their choice for the movie they were going to see leaked out of their heads between the front of the line and approaching the cashier! So they had to back up and look at the screens with the films and show-times to find it again. This happened more than once as apparently their ability to read also leaked out of their heads along with their choice. I should also mention that the other cashiers were busy with large families and their desperate attempts to come to a consensus. I was next in line dammit! Get out of my way so that I can make my choice and move on for the people behind me!
Simply put, have your choice in mind once you get to the front of the line.
#2 – Have your money/credit/debit ready
Again this is common sense. While you’re moving through the line get your cash/debit/credit/scene card out and in hand or at least have it in easy reach when you get to the cashier. It makes the transaction go by so much faster if you’re not having to fumble for your wallet or dig through your purse to get that all out at the cashier. Keep the process simple and have it in hand when you get to the front of the line.
#3 – Pay attention to the movements of the line
Depending on the size or popularity of the event, the line could move slowly or quickly. This is normally always out of our control and is really the responsibility of the organizers to determine. Our part in this is to be aware when the line moves and move with it. So that means no sitting down while in line, there will be plenty of time for that once you get inside. This also goes for when you turn around to talk with the person behind you, keep an eye out so that you know to move when the line moves.
And finally rule #4:
NO BLOODY CUTS!!!
Out of all the rules to follow THIS is the one that we all need to follow and it really brings my piss to a boil when it isn’t followed. If you step out of line to go do something else it was clearly more important than standing in line. So you lose your place in line and have to go to the back of the line. If your friends cannot make it there at the same time as you do they go to the back of the line! They can ask you to save seats but that’s it, they go to the back of the line! This is crucial especially when the event has limited seating. Nothing pisses me off more than not being allowed to get in because some moron let his friends cut in line and the capacity of the event has been reached. Loyalty schmoyalty! If your friends can’t make it there to get in line with you at the same time it’s their own fault for not getting in. No one else that is in the line should have to miss out because your friends can’t follow a watch!
I’m normally not an angry individual but this always seems to tick me off to no end! The world would be a much better place and we’d all get along that much better if everyone just follows the rules. If you didn’t know there were rules to the line before you do now. So please, for your better enjoyment and the peace of mind of others in the line behind you, follow them.
/end rant. Until next time, stay epic lords and ladies!
Ben Affleck has a bigger bum rap than Sir Mix-A-Lot.
Like most actors, he’s strayed into the areas of the unwatchable (Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl), but when you really take a look at the man’s resume, it’s decent. If you can get over his emotional breathing with his mouth open, you can find him in some great roles. Lately however, Affleck’s true calling has become more prevalent with the success of his directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone, which received a heap of attention and nominations. Oh, and there is that little Academy Award he won (with Matt Damon) for writing Good Will Hunting.
In The Town, Affleck’s second time out directing, this time also starring in, he has proven that he is indeed a formidable force behind the camera. Not only that but he has stepped the acting chops up a notch or two. The film is solid in every aspect. The story, based on Chuck Hogan’s novel The Prince of Thieves, is tightly wound, gritty and right down to earth, following four friends in Boston, bonded to each other by their highly illegal past-time: robbing banks in the tough streets of Charlestown. As precise and talented as the four are, a spontaneous move from one of them brings a witness and love-interest into the fold. Doug Macray (Affleck) must now balance the obligation to heist, the desire to start over and a less-than-truthful courtship, all while the FBI (led by Jon Hamm) work madly to build a case on the young Bostonians.
The Town is an admirable heist film for how it separates itself from the others. The characters come first and foremost. The bank robberies and illegal activities the gang commit, are important parts to the story and the characters themselves, but Affleck has cut out all the flash and fantasy of ‘the perfect heist’. The genre has become waterlogged with Oceans 11 type caricatures and superfluous stereotypes. These films have become more of a procedural how-to, a CSI meets Cirque Du Soleil spectacle, instead of gripping us, taking us into the people behind such acts, and showing us the world around them. The Town is not about four untouchable bad guys, it’s about four scared, normal, yet slightly morally-bankrupt individuals. Instead of waiting for the heist to go all wrong, you’re watching to see what happens between friends when one of them goes right.
Don’t take it that the film is just a character study or a romance-thriller. The Town is a sincerely apt action film. It’s entirely gritty and mature and features one of the best car chase scenes since Ronin or The Bourne Identity. There’s no doubt about it, Affleck can shoot action. Every moment of impact, every turn and every screeching tire can be felt throughout the audience, paced wonderfully and intensely. The Town may not be the smartest thriller, nor the ballsiest action film, but it does everything it sets out to do very well.
The performances are no exception either. For a small little film set in a dingy Boston, the ensemble cast is tight and downright believable; no easy feat when almost every character has that thick Bwaustin accent. Affleck (possibly at his most ripped, physically) leads the film strongly, giving one of his career bests – no small feat considering he directed himself for his second directorial outing. Jeremy Renner, still a hot commodity after his nomination for The Hurt Locker, turns in another transformation as the loose cannon of the team. The still relatively new Rebecca Hall is entirely believable as the young bank clerk roped into a hornet’s nest, but the biggest surprise from the female cast of The Town has to be Blake Lively. The Gossip Girl (and soon to be Green Lantern) star paints an impenetrable coating of filth on the story as Doug’s dead-beat, drug-ridden, baby-mama past squeeze. Like Amy Ryan in Gone Baby Gone, Lively sheds all her inherent beauty (and in her case slight inexperience), turning in a completely credible performance. Though I really dug him in the role, I felt that Jon Hamm’s performance left me desiring a little more. Though it’s an unfair comparison, I didn’t feel the fire behind his character to hunt the bad guy, like Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive. It should also be mentioned that the great Pete Postlethwaite is simply awesome in his small, but important (and terrifying) role.
There are quite a few movies like The Town that come out each year; seemingly smaller films that turn out better than you’d imagine. In an arguably disappointing year, with several highlights being big genre pictures, The Town is a refreshing and realistic thriller that deserves your weekend dollar over any other flashy, trashy or 3D picture.
I’m really looking forward to Affleck’s next, and dare I call him the next Eastwood. So far our Shannon Hamilton, notorious for nailing women in the place they dread most (not the back of a Volkswagen), is 2 for 2.
Hot damn we’re in a generous mood today, aren’t we? Again thanks to Warner Bros Calgary, we’re giving you a chance to see Zack Snyder’s animated owl epic Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole before anyone else.
The screening will take place next Sunday, September 19th at 10am, Scotiabank Chinook Theatre (once again, for Calgary residents only).
To enter, fire off an email to ryan [at] giantkillersquid.com with the subject line WARRIOR OWLS. In your email, give me your full name, the full name of the one guest you will be bringing, and the answer to this question:
What is the name of the upcoming 300 sequel, to be written by Frank Miller and directed by Zack Snyder?
Good luck to all that enter, we are giving away a total of 2 admit two passes, and will notify winners via email by Friday, September 17th.
As always, if you want even more chances to win free pre-screening tickets and merch, you must join the Warner Bros Calgary Facebook Group. You’ll thank us once you do, trust me.
Thanks to Warner Bros Calgary, we’ve got another exciting pre-screening coming up for The Town, directed by and starring Ben Affleck along with Jeremy Renner, Blake Lively and Jon Hamm. Early reviews suggest you do not want to miss this one.
The screening will be held this Wednesday, September 15 at 7pm, Empire Studio 10 (Macleod Trail) – sorry to all you non-Calgary readers.
So how do you win? It’s simple really, just send an email over to ryan [at] giantkillersquid.com with the subject line THE TOWN. In the email, give me your full name and the answer to the following question:
What was the first film directed by Ben Affleck?
Good luck! We’re giving away 3 sets of ADMIT TWO passes. Winners will be contacted via email no later than Tuesday, Sept. 14th by 12 noon.
Now go right now and join Warner Bros Calgary’s facebook group. They give a ton of tickets and prize-packs away. Kind of like how the Joker gave all that money away during that Gotham City parade in Batman.
Hola lords and ladies! I know it’s been a while since we’ve last chatted, personal commitments and novel work have kept me pretty busy over October and November. Before I hunker back down into novel-mode I thought I’d put out one more e-soapbox rant for you all to enjoy!
Read my original review, circa April of this year, 
Jonah Hex. Now here’s a film that seemed to light a fire under fans of the long-running comic series. For the record, I have not read any of the series, my only familiarity with the disfigured outlaw is what I’ve seen on the comic book covers and the fervor overheard from those who hold Mr. Hex close to their hearts. With that in mind, I can’t compare the film to the source material, and a the end of the day nor should I. A film is its own and should stand, or fall, based on what it is.
Back in 2005 The Descent hit screens, heralding in a new high for horror. The film was gritty and claustrophobic, preying on a very common, very real fear. The concept, though invoking the supernatural, was still simple: you are stuck in a series of underground caves. Here we are in 2010 and writer/director Adam Green (Hatchet, Hatchet II) has taken the same approach and streamlined it into an inventive little thriller called FROZEN.
Patton Oswalt, a brilliant and wise artisan, once said “I don’t give a shit where the stuff I love comes from, I just love the stuff I love”. I think it’s fair to say that even with the critical acclaim David Fincher’s THE SOCIAL NETWORK is receiving, a large amount of the world will take that approach with “the Facebook movie”. Little do these people know, the story behind the most frequented social networking site is nowhere near as boring or superfluous as your news feed and status updates.
In the last month I’ve been in a theatre three times where the trailer for Devil has played before the feature. Each and every time, the theatre let out an audible groan when ‘from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan’ hit the screen. While in my head I echoed their sentiment, it’s disheartening that Devil will be met with resistance from some, based on M. Night’s involvement alone. While his name is slapped all over the film and its marketing, Shyamalan is credited as producer and coming up with the idea – he did not write the screenplay, nor direct.
When I first saw the trailer for Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole – you know the one, with the slo-mo helmet adorned warrior owls, set to Jared Leto’s band channeling U2 – I admit, I sprung a big geeky one. It’s like someone read my childhood notebook and took the two most badass things I could think of, warrior helmets and owls, and handed ‘em over to the guy that made 300 and Watchmen and set him loose on it. But over time, with more recent posters and tv spots, and the incessant buzzing of ‘from the creators of Happy Feet‘, I began to worry that I would be let down by a really powerful concept made silly for kids. Then I showed up a little late to the pre-screening this morning, only to be surrounded by kidlets. Young ones too, even babies. It looked like free hot dog day at a lunchtime showing of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.
Ben Affleck has a bigger bum rap than Sir Mix-A-Lot.
