[REVIEW] The Box

I’m almost certain you will leave the theatre, after seeing The Box, asking yourself “what was that about?”. Well, to quote the great Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, it was about two hours too long. Hey-o.

But seriously, The Box is easily the number one contender for the worst film of the year.

Coming to you from writer/director Richard Kelly (the man responsible for the superfluously thought-provoking Donnie Darko), The Box is an indirect adaptation of the short story Button, Button by the inspiring author Richard Matheson (I Am Legend, What Dreams May Come), which was also famously ported into a popular Twilight Zone episode in the 80’s. The story tells of a mysterious man who gives a couple a box-like device with a button. He tells them that if they push the button, someone somewhere, whom they do not know, will die. Should they choose to push the button, however, they will also receive a catch-free sum of one million dollars. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Well it is incredibly interesting, and the focus on what makes this a compelling story is what gave us a fun short story and an intriguing Twilight Zone episode. Richard Kelly’s The Box, on the other hand, completely departs from the whole concept of the story, and instead we are taken on a confusing ride that I can barely put together myself.

Let me be straight here, the theme of pushing the button, the moral dilemma and the paranoia that comes with it, is not an element of the movie, nor is it a sub-plot. It is completely non-existent in the film. Richard Kelly more or less used the framework of Button, Button to inject his high-concept, low-substance air of quantum-bullshit-physics into his movie. If you thought Donnie Darko was a tad ambiguous, prepare yourself for a real headache once the end credits roll. The way I see it, Richard Kelly either has no clue what he’s doing, or he just plain has no idea how to communicate a point or narrative. This film is a legitimate mess of embarrassing proportions. There is not one ounce of intrigue or suspense throughout the entire run-time, but instead confusion and frustration. This was Kelly’s chance to come back from his last film Southland Tales, widely touted as one of the worst films in recent history, and there’s no argument that he blew it. Donnie Darko, as over-hyped as it is, is obviously a fluke as the man is incapable of creating a compelling story.

As if the hornet’s nest of a plot isn’t bad enough, the film features an almost unwatchable Cameron Diaz fumbling through each scene with an uneven, caricature-esque southern accent. James Marsden does a decent job considering what he had to work with, and Frank Langella showed real potential had the film played out coherently. The only redeemable part of The Box is its score, which is appropriately eerie and reminiscent of the tones present in the short story and TV show. Sadly, the music is wasted entirely.

I wouldn’t even recommend this convoluted film as a DVD rental.