Posted on: September 30th, 2009 [REVIEW] The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

It has come to my attention that quite a few of you aren’t Rob Zombie fans. Well, okay-don’t care. I like the man. White Zombie was awesome and Hellbilly Deluxe is a solid album. He also knows and respects his old movies. But most importantly, the guy understands the truly terrible. Kitsch is something that not everybody gets. Rob Zombie does. So I ask you, throw away your sense of taste, dignity, and pride because Mama’s got a review for you.

Did you know Rob Zombie wrote a comic book series? (Let’s pretend you didn’t.) That’s right! Spookshow International! Moreover, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. An overly confident Mexican wrestler/superhero/D-list celebrity is in a constant search for…womanly companionship? I guess? Sex. His sexy superhero sister Suzi X and her horny robot Murray go around fighting evil monsters and whatnot in Monsterland. That’s basically it. Plus A LOT of boobs. Remember I told you about it being terrible? Okay, glad we have that covered.

Well, he made an animated feature of that gold-star plot! I thought the DVD came out this week; it came out last week. (Let’s pretend it came out this week.) New movie everyone! I’ve been looking forward to this flick for a while now. Because of the writing? The clever animation? The sweet sweet voice casting? No to all of the above, folks. The soundtrack…

-PAUSE- Lets break for an intermission. Ever watch Attack of the Show! on G4? How about Web Soup on E!? Back at the Barnyard on Nickelodeon? How about the 90s hit Singled Out on MTV? All these shows have one man in common. Christopher Hardwick. One of the three things I would take if stranded on a deserted island. He’s in a band with a guy named Mike Phirman. Together, they are Hard ‘N Phirm. They’re funny-do a song about Pi. Not a spelling error. The mathematical constant. Whoa, Nerds! Okay, let’s return to the regularly scheduled post…

-GAME ON- So surely you know about the hit band Hard ‘N Phirm. EVERYONE does. They do the soundtrack! Songs about the characters, Zombie Nazis and an oddly patriotic song about masturbating to cartoons. Good times.

The voice casting was a pretty strong pull too. The man behind El Superbeasto is a man by the name of Tom Papa. If you ever get a chance to see his standup, he’s awfully funny. He has a Comedy Central Presents and was evidently in that Matt Damon movie The Informant. Thanks, IMDB! Suzi X is Sheri Moon Zombie. The character likeness, the voice, everything. And anyone that’s seen House of 1000 Corpses or Devil’s Rejects knows that her voice is unbelievably annoying. So, she’s not particularly enjoyable. Murray, the robot…Brian Posehn. If you don’t know who that is, shame on you. Funny, funny guy. If you’d like to stop this post right now and go youtube him, I’ll understand. Paul Giamatti is Dr. Satan. He’s creepy! If I were forced to peg my absolute favorite voice choice for the movie, it would be Rosario Dawson playing Velvet Von Black. She gives a practically flawless performance of a ghetto stripper if ever there was one. Phenomenal.

Alright alright. Time for some inward reflection. Can you truly appreciate that which is downright obscene? Will you not be offended if you see a crapload of animated breasts? How about derogatory jokes? Gore? Did you like Fritz the Cat? Nothing better to do with your time or your Netflix queue? Then add this to the list. Before you get all excited, just keep telling yourself, “This is supposed to be terrible, this is supposed to be terrible.” And it is truly awful. But you might be into that. Maybe get drunk. Call over your stoner friend. Maybe you ARE the stoner friend. Regardless, you might pick up on some movie references. (There are some bits OUTSIDE of Rob Zombie movies). All else fails, you’ll get to hear Hard ‘N Phirm, Loverboy, Sugar Hill Gang and STYX!

One Response to “[REVIEW] The Haunted World of El Superbeasto”

1. Ryan Ferrier Says:
   September 30th, 2009 at 5:07 pm

   I’m actually not as big a Zombie hater as I make myself out to be. Really the only thing I didn’t like that he’s done is the Halloween movies. The Devil’s Rejects is in my top 20 of all-time believe it or not, and I had a ton of fun at his live show last year. I think he’s always had a great creative mind when it comes to comics/cartoons, I will definitely be checking this out.

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