Cartoons: Fun Transition to Comic Books or Gateway to HELL?

Hello there, Folks.  It’s been a long while since you’ve heard from me.  However, the time has come to talk about something serious; something that needs to be addressed.  Everyone, it’s time to talk to your kids about comic book-based cartoons [CBBC].

You may find yourself thinking: My children don’t watch TV-they read classic literature…I have smart kids that know how to tell the good cartoons from the bad cartoons…I’m a cool parent; I just let them live their lives…I don’t have kids.

Now, now-let’s not make excuses. Be brave.  Simple steps like observing their watching habits and engaging in conversations on CBBC can eventually evolve into an introduction to the wonderful world of comic books.

Presumably, as you are reading a site partially devoted to the subject, you enjoy your funny books.  The target audience for comic books has drastically changed from the under-13 crowd of the Golden Age to the more mature 20-45 demographic of today.  Unfortunately, as the days of the printed page draw to a close, we ask what is to become of the future of comic books?  Why do the kids turn away from such wholesome forms of story-telling?  In this overwhelmingly technological world, no child has the need to look to comic books as their source of entertainment.  They have more easily accessible stimuli like the world wide web or the at-home television set.

Now, the first step is to be knowledgeable about what’s available to your children.  Where do they get the CBBC?  Currently there are regularly scheduled CBBC right in your own home on Cartoon Network, Disney XD, and Nicktoons Network.  Among these titles are Batman: Brave and the Bold, Iron Man: Armored Adventures, Wolverine and the X-Men, and The Spectacular Spider-Man.  They all seem like fairly harmless titles, don’t they?  But little do you realize that among these shows lay concepts and plot layouts that have the potential to turn your children off of comics FOREVER.

“Well, hey there now-I had CBBC back in my day and I turned out all right.”  Try to remember back to those days.   Don’t you wish someone had stopped you before you sat down and watched The Fantastic Four of ‘78?  Like Mother always said, ‘For every Batman: The Animated Series, a Krypto: The Wonder Dog must fall.’ Let’s look upon the shows of today:

Batman: Brave and the Bold is solid gold from the Cartoon Network.  You can rest easy knowing your kids are watching this charming 30 minute throwback to old school silly Batman complete with ‘BANGS’ and ‘KAPOWS’.  Meanwhile, everyone is introduced to often-neglected characters from the DC Universe like Parademon or Crazy Quilt.  They also can enjoy newly created characters like the Music Meister voiced by the musical-lovin’, underage doctorin’, romantic evil-doin’, legendary suit-wearin’ Neil Patrick Harris.  Still unsure about the quality of content?  Watch the Bat-Mite episode done by Paul Dini, you Doubting Thomas.

Wolverine and the X-Men is an unfortunate attempt on Nicktoons.  Do you want the young to be subjected to a sensitive Logan?  One with morals and lines he won’t cross?  Of course not.  Logan’s a healthy and strapping mutant with berserker rage.  An alarmingly hairy man with adamantium claws that’s the best at what he does and what he does ain’t pretty.  Now that’s the guy you want to show your children, not overly caring substitute teacher Logan.  Unless you want your child to be a weenie.  That’s right…you don’t.

The Spectacular Spider-Man has the most catchy theme song since “Listen, Bud: he’s got radioactive blood.”  Most can’t help but dance when they hear it. It’s true they have taken some liberties with the characters on Disney XD.  My largest complaint is with Kraven being turned into a Man-Lion.  However, the witty combat banter is delightful and Peter Parker’s love life doesn’t begin and end with Mary-Jane Watson.  We get to see much more Gwen Stacy than in CBBC of old and obviously she’s kind of a big deal in the Spidey-World.  If you can overlook the sometimes-faltering loyalties to the Spider Doctrine, it’s a pretty solid show.

Iron Man: Armored Adventures is pure Nicktoon garbage. Tony Stark is a teenager.  He’s a far cry from the war veteran with whom we are all familiar.  Stark is injured from a plane crash in which his father dies.  It’s an abomination.  Its only connection to the actual comic book is there is a guy named Tony, he wears a suit, has a best friend named Jim and knows a girl named Pepper.  The CG animation tries to be cutting edge, but simply fails.  If your child is already showing symptoms of being addicted to this show, seek professional help.  Your only hope will be in that Marvel just released an all-ages comic book based on the new series written by Eugene Son.  Good luck introducing your young to the more adult version when they’re finished with that sugar-coated storyline.

Finally, you must know what the future holds for CBBC.  Soon the networks will be marketing to your younger children with Marvel’s Super Hero Squad.  This cartoon is a result of a popular Hasbro toy line where your favorite Marvel characters are reimagined as children.  Super Hero Squad is to Marvel as The Muppet Babies are to The Muppets. Currently casting consists of Mark Hamill as Captain America, George Takei as Galactus, Tricia Helfer as Black Widow, Michelle Trachtenberg as Valkyrie and other various nerd-beloved actors.  A cartoon with the voice talents of Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar and Buffy?  All under the Mayoral run of Stan Lee?  Sounds enticing, could be fatal. 

Perhaps one day we will be experiencing an Art Baltazar cartoon with our younger children.  One that involves the Tiny Titans?  Shorts of Patrick The Wolf-Boy?  They could create a cartoon for kids that was based on a comic book that was made for children.  A novel idea to be sure.  However, that is just this one fan’s wish for a better tomorrow…