SH*T THAT I WANT: Vol. 2

Alright kids, it’s been a couple months and I’ve amassed a whole bunch of consumerables for the second edition of STIW. Here’s the best of the best, in quick and dirty rawdog style:

Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster

Jesus H. Christ, look at that thing. Nerf really hasn’t been cool since the crotch-bat really… until I came across this beast (almost quite literally), the N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster. The EBF stands for Everyone’s Balls Fucked. I dunno. This is the T-101 of air powered sponge artillery. Some of its features: ammo box, folding tripod, 25-dart belt and 25 SONIC MICRO DARTS. What the hell is a sonic micro dart? I have no clue, but I need to find out. Retails for around $40.

And, according to the image below, you can fire it into another dude’s ass!

Buy it online.

Mastodon Vans Shoes

It is scientific fact that footwear could not be any more bad-ass than this. Unless you strapped hatchet-laden corpses to your feet, but that’s illegal and morally deplorable. So instead, Vans – the creators of the equally awesome Iron Maiden shoes (which I own) – stepped up and gave us the next best thing: shoes inspired by artwork from Mastodon’s Blood Mountain record. Though it would’ve been a wet dream to have shoes from Leviathan or even Crack The Skye, I can’t complain, these are fucking epic. Both version come in hi-top or low-top and I have no clue how much they retail for. I paid $30 for the Iron Maiden ones.

More info to come on the official site.

Creative Vado HD Pocket Video Cam

I’ve been on the market for one of these sexy little pocket cams for a while now, and it seems that pretty much across the board the Creative Vado HD delivers boners to even the most fickle of tech-wieners. This palm-sized camera boasts an impressive 2 hours of recording/playback at 720p, a hefty 8GB of internal memory, a decent 2″ screen and a slide-out USB for pulling out, stuffing in, and unloading all the stuff you’ve just accumulated. That’s what she said.

It doesn’t hurt that the footage this baby captures is really damn amazing from such a compact machine. Better yet is that it retails for less than $230. Check out the official site.

Watchmen Blu-Ray ‘Owlship’ Collector’s Edition

It’s exciting enough just having Watchmen on DVD and Blu-Ray so soon (July 21), but this gave me a big nerdy one… the Amazon.com exclusive Owlship collector’s set. This bad boy can only be purchased online. Just look at that. What a beaut. The set includes the  special edition 2-disc blu-ray of the film, lame-ass digital copy which no one will use, and a ridiculously awesome miniature Owlship replica that holds the discs and has lights and sounds. The only thing that would make this better is if it had the technology to blow me while I watch the film. But then again, that could be distracting.

So again, this is an Amazon.com exclusive – pre-order it for $83.99 right now.

Sony 400-disc BDP-CX7000ES Blu-ray Mega Changer

This is one of those things that I really want, but will never, ever own. It’s fairly simple in technology, a juke-box for the future, if you will, that stores all of your DVD discs and then you use the remote in your 500 pound, Cheeto-dust smothered hand, to select the movie you want and it cues it up for you. Because five feet really is that far. Regardless of its complete lack of practicality, it is pretty damn cool. And Sony’s gearing up to launch this mega changer that will hold 400 Blu-Ray discs. Are there even 400 Blu-Ray’s available? Oof. I’m so balls deep in Blu-Ray right now. I want this. It will no doubt retail for $1,000,000 and the only people who will have it are Larry Flynt looking oil tycoons obsessed with Indecent Proposal and Dirty Dancing in 1080p.

Check out Engadget’s piece on the 400 disc calorie saver here.

Well that wraps up another volume of SH*T THAT I WANT. If you have any ideas for items for future volumes, or just foudn some really bad-ass stuff that you want, let us know.

Remember, money ain’t no good to a dead man.